Whipped cream paperweight or does this tissue paper make me look fat?

Camille Suzanne, the whitest of the white, the softest of the soft, the pinkest nosie of the pink nosies, the resident kitty-catty who seeks admiration in voluminous and copious amounts each day is pondering whether or not it was a good idea to act as paperweight for momma when she was wrapping presents today. She was overheard sniffling and meowing to Forrest and asking him if he thought the paper made her look fat, especially her fanny of fluff. Forrest, being a smart kitty-catty, feigned a sore throat, coughed and quickly left the room. (Smart, wise Forrest.) Camille doesn't take honest criticism easily.

Of course, NO ONE would even dare tell Camille that the saucer of cream she enjoys every morning could be contributing to her "spread". Naw, no one around here that brave, uhm, nope, no one.